Step 7: Hooks

From CureTinnitus.org and the SWS course:

From

“How a Skinny Little
Golf Genius
From California
Accidentally Started
Hitting 425-Yard Tee Shots!”

to

“How a Little Known
Tinnitus-Clobbered
Composer from Chicago
Combined Research With Determination
Reduced His Tinnitus to a Mere Whisper
And Created An Online Tinnitus Healing
Community That Gives You The Power To
Heal Yourself By Learning From
People Who Have Done It Successfully.”

“The Naked Girls All
Laughed Behind The Little
Pudgy Guy’s Back…Until
He Got Into A
Knife Fight With 3
Enormous Bad-Ass
Bikers…”

The Doctors And Research Scientists Laughed Behind The Curious Composer’s Back…Until He Reduced His Tinnitus To A Mere Whisper And Created An Online Tinnitus Healing Community That Can Give You The Power To Heal Yourself By Learning From People Who Have Done It Successfully.

…actually, my doctor laughed in my face, and maybe I could say he sneered behind my back…

The Doctors And Clinicians Laughed In The Curious Composer’s Face…Until He Reduced His Tinnitus To A Mere Whisper And Created An Online Tinnitus Healing Community That Gives You The Power To Heal Yourself By Learning From People Who Have Done It Successfully.

The Doctors And Clinicians Laughed In My Face…Until I Reduced My Tinnitus To A Mere Whisper And Created An Online Tinnitus Healing Community That Can Give You The Power To Heal Yourself By Learning From People Who Have Done It Successfully.

What Women Secretly Wish
You Knew About Sex…
But will never, ever tell you to your face!

What Researchers Secretly Know About
Healing From Tinnitus
But will never, ever tell you to your face!

…but that’s just not true…I mean, just because people are clueless does not mean they are malicious, and I would rather be their friend than their enemy.

Does the focus really have to be on me? Can’t it be on the discovery itself? If I can focus on Julian Cowan Hill, he actually woke up in complete silence and cried blissful tears of relief. He might be a better target for the juxtaposition. BTW…That list with gay somelier, abused husband, abused wife, etc. Those headlines are real member stories.

…ok…I’ll go back to studying these archetypes and will go through the lesson and John’s book again.

“secret” is pretty much out
“accidentally” is also out
If I’m the target of the juxtaposition, then I’m not fully healed. So, maybe I just ran out of money trekking around the world and created an online space to hang out with people who have healed themselves, which “accidentally” flips the model of research from “studying disease” to one of “studying health,” and that FLIP is the essence of how to get better from tinnitus.

…is this getting better?

Composer goes on a global mission to heal from his tinnitus and discovers that tinnitus is like a smoke alarm going off, and your body is on fire. His journey leads him to create an online tinnitus healing community that gives you the power to heal yourself by learning from people who have done it successfully.

…Do you want to turn off the smoke alarm, or put out the fire?

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KevinR
Post subject: Re: Exercise 7: Hooks
Post Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 5:34 am
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:22 am
Posts: 1166
Dainis, these are excellent? Let’s not over think this any further.

I really like this one:

“How a Little Known Tinnitus-Clobbered
Composer from Chicago Combined Research
With Determination… Reduced His Tinnitus to
a Mere Whisper And Created An Online Tinnitus
Healing Community That Gives You The Power To
Heal Yourself By Learning From People Who Have
Done It Successfully.”

That’s a hell of a hook. So is this…

The Doctors All Laughed In The Curious Composer’s Face…Until He Reduced His Tinnitus To A Mere Whisper And Created An Online Tinnitus Healing Community That Gives You The Power To Heal Yourself By Learning From People Who Have Done It Successfully.

If it’s easier to make it about someone else, that’s fine. But it is your site isn’t it?

Regarding:

“Do You Need A Kick-Ass Copywriter Who Meets John Carlton’s Outrageously Strict Requirements For Creating Ads That Work Like Crazy?”

…is a question…can you explain why mine didn’t work for you as a hook?

That’s a headline, not a hook.

As I mentioned before, the hook tells a story. Not every ad needs to be driven by a strong hook.

While hooks have served as a crucial element of John’s writing, he recognizes when the prospect is “too hungry” to care about the back story.

If you were to write a hook for this letter it would be something like…

World Famous Copywriter Combats Fortune-Stealing Crisis of Rookie Writers Posing As Pros By Creating An Exclusive “Stable” Of Veteran Guns For Hire To Deliver Eye-Grabbing Copy That Converts Like Mad.

But, here’s the advanced lesson:

Often, your prospect is not looking to join your crusade. They just want you to stop their pain. Only experience will allow you to recognize when that is.

We teach hooks because they are important. Even if they don’t appear directly in the copy, they are still in effect.

If you search that ad, you will find the hook I mentioned spread throughout. However, the prospects coming to site aren’t nearly as concerned about a “copywriting crisis” as they are with finding a good one who will deliver top quality — on time.

Also, Dainis… notice how direct John’s question is. No metaphor for the reader to wade through.

Hope that helps.

Kevin

5 Responsesto “Step 7: Hooks”

  1. admin says:

    OK, I think the Austrian audience responds to something subtly sarcastic (Wiener Schmee), something understated, and they are very interested in how they are perceived. So, here goes…

  2. admin says:

    Ein drei-fach Staatsbürger in Amerika erzogen mit österreichischem Vater und lettischer Mutter, gebiltet als Komponist und Wiener Chorleiter…

    crap that’s all about me…

  3. admin says:

    Wiener Charm Locked/gets Internet Profit Geheimnisse to/zum Wiener Unternehmer…damit WIR AUCH ordentlich durch online offline Unternehmensintegration verdienen können.

  4. admin says:

    Krisen-Reversing Online-Offline Business Integrationsgeheimnisse …

    A hook in German ain’t easy for me…

  5. admin says:

    How a vienna composer can orchestrate online profits for you to something something crisis profit money money future happy future cash cash cash

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